When did I Become my Mom?

Today my husband called and warned me not to look at a local newspaper's front page coverage of the devastation in Haiti. It seems the goodly folk at decided to emblazon their front page with a photograph of a Haitian man being dragged through the streets there being beaten (to death it seems) by some angry men.

I was speechless for a while. Sickened, then angry.

I understand that the situation in Haiti is desperate. It has been wrenching my heart since I first heard about it.

To the newspapers and their boards - you don't need to graphically portray the worst of it in order to get me to buy your newspaper.

That is a human being. A life being snuffed out. Through desperation and despair that I hope I never have to experience. He deserves better than to be used to get today's sales up.

I appreciate that journalism is about documenting the facts, even if those facts are distasteful. However, how you choose to share these facts with the public is the difference between a salacious rag, and a reputable institution.

I consider CNN to be a reputable institution, and I have followed some of their stories on the developments in  Haiti. CNN's photo coverage comes complete with an interactive warning over the more potentially disturbing  photographs, which the reader can click away to reveal the image, if they so choose.

Thank you CNN (and others) for respecting that I am one of those people that is haunted by upsetting images for years after they are thrust upon me. And to the other local newspapers that covered Haiti without the sensationalism, thank you for understanding that all journalism isn't appropriate for consumption by children, who will inevitably see your front page coverage once it gets home.

Truth be told, much of my following of Haiti's earthquake has been via social media - Twitter and blogs in particular. In addition to my regular tweeps, I've followed the RedCross, MSNBC and various CNN correspondents who've been reporting from the ground in Haiti.

I've also found other amazing people like Virginia Montanez who was so instrumental in getting the focus on the BRESMA orphanage in particular and orphanages in general in the aftermath of last Tuesday.

The human/social perspective has really helped save a lot of lives, and mobilize a lot of aid that I believe would have otherwise been less and taken a much longer time to get to Haiti.

The early descriptions and photos of the damage brought home the enormity of the situation in a very timely way, and really reached the hearts of fellow human beings.

For me, it really reinforced the belief I hold that most humans do care, and do want to do good by their fellow man. I have been so heartened by the absolute outpouring of support and donations of time and effort, in addition to more tangible donations of relief/aid.

It has been so good to hear so much news on the generosity of the human spirit, instead of the usual focus on humanity at its worst. That, in turn, has inspired more and more hope. And more help.

I shudder to think what would have happened to relief efforts if the only window into Haiti we were given was the sensational coverage that masqueraded as journalism today.

Coverage that inspires fear and horror and de-humanizes human suffering. That would have you believe that Haitians are like animals in the streets with no dignity.

Instead of fellow human beings suffering through incomprehensible tragedy, carrying themselves with a respect and dignity that we'd do well to remember on a daily basis.
Thank you Dr Gupta for your compassion, for what you continue to do to help people in the field hospitals, and for sharing with us another perspective of Haiti.

Ali McMutrie and the kids from the BRESMA orphanage arrived safely in Pittsburgh today. Jamie McMutrie will be leaving Port au Prince, Haiti to follow behind shortly.

For those of you who prayed, please keep praying for those left behind in Haiti. For those who donated, thank you!

It is truly amazing what Virginia Montanez has been able to get moving - with a little faith, and a lot of good will and willing hearts, mountains have been moved to bring these children to safety.

The power of Faith, my dear friends. Of believing in a cause, and uniting in support of it.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

It's been a while since my last SIMC.

I want to share with you a story about believing, and how Faith has moved legal mountains thus far. The story isn't yet at an end - in fact the fight is now on in earnest...

Bresma Orphanage sits 10 mins outside the heart of Port-au-Prince in Haiti. It's run by two American girls - one is 21 so it's fair to call them girls. And they are taking care of about 150 Haitian orphans.

Their building has been hit hard by Tuesday's earthquake and they are living in their yard.

These two sisters, as American citizens, have the option to leave Haiti on daily flights out. But they have chosen to stay behind.

They say they cannot leave their children, because they know they would be condemning them to die - no food, water, diapers... And no-one to care for them.

Some of these children are THISCLOSE to having loving homes in the U.S. and were in the stages of being adopted when the earthquake hit.

They have gotten their story out through Virginia Montanez, and they have been able to move legal mountains, particularly through the efforts of former U.S. Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan, the children have now ALL been granted Temporary Refugee Status.

There is an outpouring of donations, and help and homes, and the kids just need to get to the U.S.

That is huge.

They're now working on getting a plane for these kids to get them out of Haiti. Because there is no-one to care for them and because of their situation, they cannot leave in twos and threes.

This is where the story currently is.

People have pledged miles, jet fuel money, etc to try to contribute toward getting these kids on a plane.

The situation in Haiti, meanwhile, is getting desperate. They have sent out an urgent plea that without water the babies will die within 48 hrs.

Even if they do get water, it is becoming dangerous for them to even to possess it. Remember these girls are living in a yard. Out in the open. With children.


Even CNN reporters on the ground are hoping for higher level of security than exists now. I cannot imagine what tonight is like for Haitians on the street.


They are just two tiny voices in Haiti in the middle of devastation with no access to the internet any longer, and yet you now know their story, and massive legal hurdles have been - and are being - overcome.

HAITI DISASTER RELIEF:
TRINIDAD

DIGICEL - TXT or CALL to donate
If you are in the Caribbean or Latin America, you can send relief donations to Haitian NGOs coordinating disaster relief via Digicel. Donate via TEXT or CALL. Instructions here: http://ow.ly/WkxF

In Trinidad and Tobago txt HELP to 5151 or call 5151 from your Digi (donates TT$3 )

Donate clothing, blankets, towels, non-perishable food items and bottled water
We encourage you to give what you can.
If you are inclined to give gifts of clothing, towels, blankets, sheets etc - please ensure items are clean and in good condition.

COP (POS)
Corner of Tragrete Road and Broome Street
9am - 3pm

YMCA (POS)
Benbow Road, off Wrightson Road (opposite the power station)

UNESCO T&T (POS)
2 Scott St, St Clair
9am-2pm and 5-7pm
More info here

ITNAC (Belmont)
Hilton Hotel Trinidad, 1B Lady Young Road, Belmont (tel: Olivia Constantine at 682-6755)

ITNAC (Arima)
Global Revival Ministeries, bypass on Eastern Main Road, Arima

Many more opportunities to help, including cash donations...
Detailed list here: http://meppublishers.blogspot.com/2010/01/helping-haiti.html


INTERNATIONAL
Red Cross International Response Fund
Give to the Red Cross via Credit Card or using Amazon's payment processing system.


Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund (Wyclef Jean)
Donate to the Yele Haiti Earthquake Fund online

or text the word YELE to 501501 to donate $5 charged to your cell phone bill (within the US).


Partners in Health
Give to the Partners in Health in response to the appeal for assistance from its Port-au-Prince clinical director, Louise Ivers: "Port-au-Prince is devastated, lot of deaths. SOS. SOS... Temporary field hospital by us at UNDP needs supplies, pain meds, bandages. Please help us."


Doctors Without Borders
Give to Doctors Without Borders who are on the ground and have setup clinics to treat the injured in Haiti.

Ok, not what you think unfortunately.

I wish I could say that this post was about some cute conversation I had with one of my kids. But it's not. This conversation was a bit tougher.

I made the decision last night to tell both boys about M's situation.

I had two reasons, really. The first is because I think not knowing is causing tension between the boys. The older one will tease M until he is absolutely stressed out. And more and more I hear the same phrase when he gets to that point - "You don't KNOW ME!"

And it breaks my heart a little bit every time.

The other reason is a guy at a client's office. He's sort of a misfit. He's young, and it's his first job. But aside from that awkwardness, there's this obvious social awkwardness as well. For one thing, he doesn't seem to "get" personal space, and drifts in way too close when the conversation interests him. And he doesn't "get" hints. You have to explicitly tell him what you want him to do. And be careful what you tell him because he follows the instructions to a T. And he's sweet so everyone's still good and kind to him. But there are laughs at times. Not in a mean-spirited way, but still. At. Not with....

I don't know if he's an Aspie or not, but he could be. And that could be my son in 10 years.

So last night. I sat my boys down and explained to them as best I could. And it seemed to make sense to the
 older one. Like puzzle pieces coming together. M doesn't quite get it...

But now they know. And I've asked big brother to love, protect and support M now that he knows.

I felt crappy to have to do this. I feel very unsure and very much in doubt over this whole thing. Sometimes I just have dread in the pit of my stomach. Especially when he's "sad".

I know I'm not a bad mom, but I also know I don't have this together. And I feel like I'm failing.

But when I'm really low, and I walk in and see this, it makes my heart feel a whole lot better.


Because I know they know love...