When did I Become my Mom?

I woke up on Saturday morning and asked myself if it was possible that Friday had really happened.

I felt tumbled by the biggest waves in the roughest surf. Amazed to come out whole on the other end. But physically weary and emotionally drained, while feeling a sense of everything around me being so distant.

One after the other the waves had hit.

The first woke me up to a reality that I know I've been choosing not to see. Consciously choosing to look past obvious signs and believe in the goodness and honesty of people. And then life hits you over the head and forces you to make a decision you really wish you didn't have to make.

Even when that decision means I am no longer committed to sacrificing the time and money I have been for the past few months. Because the basis for that sacrifice was flawed from the start.

Except... if you knew me at all, you'd know I'd have to turn that decision over and over to make sure I'm making a decision that's totally fair to all involved. You could probably call me the eternal optimist.

Where the first wave shoved me hard, the second tumbled me right over. Took the ground right out from under me. Made me realize that I can't be apologetic for putting the priorities of my family above all. That's where they are and that's where they need to stay. At Number 1. And I make no apologies for that.

Life has a way of working out like that. For me anyway. If I am ever agonizing over whether I am making the right decision, as long as I'm making it with good and honest intentions something comes along to show me the way, and reinforce my decision.

But I didn't expect wave 3. Wave 3 tumbled me, twisted and turned me and took me for a ride.

Wave 1 affected me. Wave 2, my husband. And Wave 3, my sister.

My loved ones. The parts of me that live outside of me.

I was surrounded by them this weekend. And I don't know how but somehow, despite all our individual troubles, while we were together, there was peace and calm and strength. I suppose knowing that we will face our individual storms knowing that we are backed by a powerful and committed team. That's what family is. That's what we do. That's why they're priority #1. No matter what anyone else tries to tell me.

Remember this song? Blind Melon's "No Rain" with the little bumblebee girl?

I never got that video. Or the song really. But it's stuck in my head right now.

On repeat.

Over and over.

What's Macaroni Kid about, you ask?

Well, it's really exciting... It's a group of moms who come together on one site MacaroniKid.com and we blog for an increasingly large audience and publish all sorts of events and activities that are kid- and family-friendly! Each of us seeks out activities in our area that we think our fellow moms would want to know about and put it into our MK Newsletter.

 So whether you're looking for activities to get the kids out of the house or craft ideas to keep them occupied while indoors, whether you're looking for activities close to you, or family-friendly fun when visiting a new town, look no further than MacaroniKid.com - for moms, by moms.


Nicki and Joyce have been doing this themselves for ages, but they founded Macaroni Kid and opened it up to fellow moms just last year, and already they've been featured on BNET.com.

They are 100% supportive and I have to say I am having a great time getting this going. Check my first newsletter out - http://trinidad.macaronikid.com.

Moms can download and print schedules of the week's activities and top picks, and feel good knowing that they've found the best activities in their neighbourhood, and that these activities are themselves recommended by a fellow local mom. This week I published one of my favourite pieces I've written, and I'm curious to see what discussion it sparks. Did I mention each blog/city has its own forum? Pretty cool huh.

Don't see your town? Maybe you should consider becoming a Macaroni Kid mom! For more information email Nicki at nicki {at} macaronikid.com and tell her Trinidad sent you!


In other announcements! My mother is soooo talented!

Ok, she would never say that about herself, and she's probably blushing right now! But let's let you be the judge...

This is a photo of my cousin's daughter. My mom did a digital painting of the photo (bottom right) and created the masterpiece on the left. Painted, people. Like brushstrokes and dipping into colour pots... Just using your mouse pointer instead of a paintbrush!






How talented is this woman?!

After years and years of encouragement, she's finally taken the leap of faith and started her own little business (this month!).


She does photography (bridal, portraits, etc) and she does wonders with photographs and images like that little number up there.

If you're interested in her doing some work based on your photos for you, or if you're in the Columbus/Tupelo region of Mississippi and want some photography done, email me at

and I'll send you all her contact details so you can talk business. :-)

And even if you're not looking to hire her, leave her a comment below letting her know what you think about her work. I think she thinks I'm just saying it cos I'm her daughter... ;-)

They say the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

I mean you've tried time and time again and "it" isn't working, so why keep trying? Right?

Madness! Maybe.

What about if we shift the context? Think about that definition of madness in the context of raising your kids. Raise your hand if you've felt yourself become like a broken record since you had kids. *Waving hand in air*

You repeat the same safety warnings ad nauseum. You guide and plead and advise from a place of experience. You try. It doesn't always work - they don't always listen, but you know you have to try!

Madness! Maybe?

What makes you keep trying? Faith. Love. Duty. All of the above?

The bottom line is that you're willing to drive yourself to the brink of insanity if it means that the lessons you're trying to teach have the slightest chance of reaching your child. If he/she tunes you out 9 out of 10 times, you'd still keep going. So that those lessons can help them to grow into the strongest, happiest, healthiest human beings they can be.

You believe in your mission. You believe in the long term benefits, even though the going might be rough in the short term. You see the bigger picture.

You look for different ways to get through to your toddler tween teen grown-up-too-soon child. To make yourself a better teacher/communicator. To try to ensure that your child knows that he/she is loved and protected to the best of your ability.

And because you are committed to your cause, you never give up.

In some small way like Derrick, the door-to-door soap salesman. (Please watch the video below.)



Zack Arias - zarias.com

The other day I drove with a friend who was checking her Blackberry and texting the whole ride.

Straight out of a Bob Marley song.


I woke up to find 3 little birds sitting right outside my door. Were they singing sweetly? Why yes, they were as a matter of fact.


I tried to snap a pic but they flew away.


The whole thing made me smile. And think. Which is a good thing, because I had been in a bit of a funk up to that point.


"Don't worry about a thing,
Cos every little thing is gonna be alright..."


Maybe.


More than maybe. I know it is. And I know it's up to me to make it so.


But this wife/mother/careerwoman/blogger/friend thing... it really can get overwhelming sometimes.


I'm so busy these days that I'm having a hard time organizing my time and I've come to almost a complete shutdown. Not meltdown, mind you. Just a slowdown and lack of productivity.


I do this from time to time. I get to a point where if something doesn't make sense anymore, I need to stop everything, find a way to get the balls in the air once more, before I get moving again. It's like I have to map it out in my head and make sure it's going to work before I'll even try to start moving.


But in the meantime, I feel every second tick by, conscious of the time wasting and the things I COULD have gotten done while I was in semi-veg state.


So I ignore the dread in the pit of my stomach and think about ways to 

• Schedule the work that's already in the pipeline,
• Organize leads to follow so I can bring in new work opportunities,
• Get some structure back into the kids' days, 
• Get all caught up on the housework,
• Get back into my regular blogging schedule.